10 Aug Redefining Success: Values-Aligned Leadership and the Power of Mentoring
For much of my early career, I thought success followed a fairly predictable path.
Work hard. Perform well. Take on more responsibility. Earn the promotion. Keep climbing.
I was ambitious, curious, and always eager to learn. My career took me through organizations including Accenture, Best Buy, and Cargill before eventually leading me to Menttium. Along the way, I had opportunities to work in change management, diversity and inclusion, talent development, and leadership. Looking back, however, the most important lessons of my career didn’t necessarily come from a title, promotion, or business accomplishment. They came during the moments when I had to stop and ask myself harder questions:
- What does success actually mean to me?
- What are the values I want guiding my decisions?
- What kind of leader and person do I want to be?
Those questions have shaped the way I lead today and reinforced something I’ve believed throughout my career: we grow through relationships. Mentors, colleagues, friends, and leaders can help us see possibilities that are difficult to see on our own. And in a world undergoing tremendous change, I believe those authentic human connections are becoming even more important.
My Definition of Success Had to Evolve
One of the biggest turning points in my career came when my daughter was young. At the time, my professional life was accelerating. I was receiving opportunities for greater leadership and responsibility; the kinds of opportunities I had worked hard to earn. At the same time, I was experiencing tension between those career aspirations and having the time and space to be the kind of mom I wanted to be. For most of my life, I had followed a traditional achievement-oriented path: work hard, get good grades, attend a great school, find a good job, perform well, and continue advancing. My definition of success had become closely tied to professional achievement and external recognition. Suddenly, I found myself asking whether the things I had always wanted were still the things I wanted. That wasn’t an easy realization.
Our identities can become deeply connected to our careers. Titles, organizations, promotions, and accomplishments offer visible evidence that we’re succeeding. But life, our priorities and our responsibilities change and sometimes our definition of success has to change with them. I eventually realized that making different choices wasn’t a sign that I had become less ambitious. It wasn’t a failure, it was growth and agency. It was recognizing that I had the ability and the responsibility to make intentional choices about the life I wanted to create.
Values Became My North Star
That period of reflection caused me to think much more deeply about my values. Earlier in my career, I participated in a co-active coaching program at Cargill that created space for meaningful self-reflection. It gave me the opportunity to step away from the pace of everyday work and articulate what truly mattered to me. My dad has also always talked about what he calls a value chain and we all have one. It’s the combination of priorities and values that matters most to us at a particular point in our lives. That value chain isn’t necessarily permanent. It can shift as our careers, families, and circumstances evolve, but understanding it gives us a North Star. When I understand what matters most to me, I can make decisions that are aligned with those values instead of simply following the path I’m expected to follow. That’s something I encourage leaders to consider:
What is your value chain right now?
Not five years ago. Not what you believe it is supposed to be. What actually matters most to you today? The challenge is creating enough space to answer that question honestly. We spend so much time doing, working, leading, responding, delivering, that reflection can feel like a luxury. I don’t think it is. Self-awareness is foundational to good leadership. Understanding what drives us helps us make better decisions for ourselves, and understanding what drives the people around us helps us create environments where they can thrive.
A Mentor Helped Me See Another Version of Success
One of the most meaningful mentoring relationships in my life began during that period of uncertainty. An HR leader I knew reached out to me and simply asked if we could talk. At the time, I was wrestling with questions about my career, my identity, my priorities, and what I wanted my future to look like. She created a space where I could speak honestly about all of it. She listened, asked questions and shared her own story with me. That conversation changed my perspective.
I had been making assumptions about what successful careers were supposed to look like. Hearing about her own nonlinear journey helped me realize there wasn’t only one path. There wasn’t one ladder everyone needed to climb. There were many ways to build a meaningful career and many ways to define success. That is one of the reasons I believe so deeply in mentoring today. A great mentor doesn’t simply tell you what to do. Mentors create space for reflection. They ask questions we may not be asking ourselves, share experiences that challenge our assumptions and help us see possibilities we might not yet be able to see. Sometimes they give us the permission we need to imagine something different.
Relationships Matter Long Before You Need Them
Another lesson I’ve learned repeatedly throughout my career is the importance of nurturing relationships. I’ve always been curious about people. I love hearing people’s stories, understanding what motivates them, learning from people with different experiences, and bringing people together. That natural curiosity has created an incredible community around me over the years. And those relationships have shaped my career in ways I never could have planned.
During one period of transition, I began reconnecting with people I respected and admired. One coffee led to another conversation. That conversation led to another introduction. Eventually, those relationships led me to Lynn Sontag and Menttium. I joined Menttium in 2017, and the mission immediately felt aligned with so much of what I valued personally and professionally: helping people grow, creating meaningful human connections, and helping individuals and organizations thrive. That’s why I often tell people: “Don’t wait until you need something to build your network.” Relationships aren’t transactions.
- Stay connected to people you respect.
- Check in with former colleagues.
- Make introductions.
- Send the quick text that says, “I was thinking about you.”
- Have the coffee even when there isn’t an agenda attached to it.
Those connections can become sources of advice, encouragement, perspective, opportunity, and support during moments you never anticipated.
Human-Centered Leadership Matters More in an AI-Driven World
Today, leaders are navigating extraordinary levels of change. Artificial intelligence and technology are transforming how we work, organizations are moving faster and expectations continue to rise. Employees are managing professional demands while also carrying the realities of their lives outside of work. In that environment, it can be easy to become enamored with everything technology can do, and there is an incredible amount to be excited about, but I also believe we have to be very intentional about protecting what technology cannot replace: Authentic human connection.
We still need leaders who care, who are curious, leaders who demonstrate empathy. Leaders who can exercise judgment, listen carefully, create trust, and understand the human beings behind the work. For years, some of these capabilities were described as “soft skills.” They’re not soft. They’re critical leadership competencies. The more technology evolves, the more important I believe truly human leadership becomes.
Developing People Can’t Be Something We Do Only When It’s Convenient
Most organizations say their people are their greatest asset. I believe that deeply. But saying it isn’t enough. Leadership is ultimately about what we consistently model and reinforce. One framework I think about is: Express. Model. Reinforce.
We can express our commitment to developing people all we want. But leaders also have to model that commitment through their actions and reinforce it consistently over time. That means investing in leadership development not only when conditions are ideal, but during the difficult seasons too. Especially during those seasons. When organizations are experiencing disruption, uncertainty, or significant change, people need places where they can think, process, learn, and gain perspective. That’s one reason mentoring is so powerful.
Mentoring Provides Hope and Stability During Disruption
At Menttium, we often say that mentors provide hope and stability in times of disruption. We’ve seen it again and again. When someone has a mentor in their corner, mentoring becomes about much more than preparing for the next promotion. It’s an opportunity to:
- Think through difficult situations.
- To develop leadership skills.
- To challenge assumptions.
- To talk openly about uncertainty.
- To gain an outside perspective.
And increasingly, it’s about the whole person. None of us arrives at work disconnected from the rest of our lives. A difficult morning doesn’t disappear because we have a meeting in the afternoon. Leaders and employees may simultaneously be navigating family responsibilities, aging parents, health concerns, community challenges, uncertainty about the future, and demanding business expectations. That’s why I believe people need community and genuine care more than ever. Leaders who create space for people to show up authentically, while still holding clear expectations and delivering results, will be better equipped to build resilient, high-performing teams.
The Best Leaders Surround Themselves With People Who Help Them Grow
People sometimes ask me how I take care of myself while balancing leadership, work, family, and everything else that comes with a full life. There are many important answers: sleep, exercise, health, and taking time to recharge. But one of the most important things I do is surround myself with people who bring out the best in me.
- People who support me.
- People who challenge me.
- People who give me advice when I need it.
- People who celebrate my wins.
- People who allow me to fully be myself.
That community gives me energy. It sustains me. And it reminds me that leadership was never meant to be done alone.
Be Open to What’s Possible
If I could give my younger self one piece of advice, it would be this: Be open to what’s possible. I’ve always loved the idea of shifting from a world focused solely on measurement to one that also leaves room for possibility. Early in our careers, many of us want certainty. We want the plan, the five-year trajectory and to know where each decision will lead. Life doesn’t usually work that way. Careers change, priorities evolve, people enter our lives unexpectedly and opportunities appear that we couldn’t have anticipated.
Some of the most meaningful parts of my own journey came from moments I never could have planned. The goal isn’t to stop planning, rather, it’s to remain open enough that the plan doesn’t prevent us from seeing something better. That openness takes self-awareness, courage and often, it takes other people, mentors, colleagues, friends, family, and trusted advisors, who help us see possibilities beyond our own perspective. Great mentoring ultimately can provide a wider view of what’s possible, not a predetermined answer.